Galahad, Part I

Word of advice: Never start a blog while you're out in the sticks with limited internet. It doesn't work out so well.

Since I don't date very often, I had every intention of starting my posts at the very beginning, working my way up from my first date with The Swede (more on him later) to my most recent date, which was with The Beat Boxer.

This plan very quickly got tossed out the window. Oh, yes. Very quickly.

Those are old dates, some of them long past, some of them long forgotten.

Right now, my soul is aglow with the hope of a new crush, which may or may not be requited.

His name, here at least, is Galahad.

In Arthurian legend, Galahad is one of the three knights to reach the Holy Grail. In some versions, he is the only one to actually touch the Grail because he is the only one pure enough of heart. As Wikipedia describes him, he "is renowned for his gallantry and purity".

The description is apt. My Galahad is so sweet that he makes sugar seem bitter.

You'll see what I mean...

Matchmaking

I have learned my lesson.  Even if they say it's not matchmaking, don't believe them, it will not turn out well.

At the July 4th neighborhood barbecue, I got talking to one of my favorite-but-distant neighbors about how all of the friends who live close to me are married and parents.  A few days later, I get an e-mail that opens with "I know this sounds like matchmaking, but I don't do that so it's not..." and goes on about this nice Christian young man, a good family friend, who says the same things and could use a friend.  She emphasized the NOT a set-up part, and included us both in a message so we could facebook. 

Mistake.  I'm going to call him Dolphin Boy, as his profile is, inexplicably, a dolphin.  It should be DOlphin boy, because he apparently has issues with capitalization and not enough presence of mind to fix it.  Yes, I am judging.  So, DOlphin Boy begins popping up on chat all. the. time.  I answered the first few times, and we decided to meet up for coffee.

I hate to be shallow, but DOlphin is, politely, unattractive.  He has bad teeth, really bad teeth, which is my #1 turn off, physically.  We disagree on music, and movies, and books.  He's almost 30.  Conversation was not very fluid, though not as bad as with The Marine or the Beat Boxer.  He didn't seem to have a whole lot of personality...he was kind of spongy, if that makes any kind of sense at all.

I almost gave him my old phone number when he asked, but I'm a truly terrible liar and probably couldn't get away with it.  I'm just going to avoid any unknown numbers, unless they leave a voicemail.  And he now comments on EVERYTHING I put on facebook, and pops up even more constantly on chat.  I largely ignore it.

I saw nothing in him that made me want to actually form a friendship, or even continue an acquaintanceship.  He keeps trying to invite himself along to things.  And chatting.  And saying absolutely nothing in a great many words.  As I realize how much personal stuff I have online and how mostly-total strangers don't need to know it**, I decided to delete him, and then blocked him for good measure.  This way I vanish.  I'm afraid I may have offended him, or possibly through him my neighbor, but...too late? 

So yeah.  Neighbor may have thought it wasn't matchmaking, he certainly seemed to think it was.  Even when I mentioned the Tenor repeatedly.  Live and learn, right?  No more set ups!  (unless maybe if it's from someone I reeeeeally trust).  Sigh.  I still feel like a jerk.


**I know that I am here pouring out my relationship stories to the internet, but it's anonymous.  That somehow earns it a distinction. 

the only time I may ever be grateful for a chihuahua

The Marine is home. 

He texted me within his first 24 hours here, asking me to come over and visit.  Our houses are only about a mile apart, so I went over, lateish.  I said hi to his folks, who know me mostly because his older sister and I hiked a lot on the same mountain his mom hikes.  And they remember me from my baby days, and grade school...you get the picture.

We sat on the couch and talked.  Or, we tried to talk.  I tried to talk.  It was almost as bad as conversation the Beat Boxer (who you will meet as soon as Snow White gets her butt back to this state and we can co-write).  I know the Marine is quiet by nature, and probably going through some kind of culture shock being back in the USA and being a civilian again, but still.  It shouldn't be quite that difficult.  I was over there for about an hour and a half, and maybe 30 minutes of that actually was filled with talking - spread out.  Sentence, sentence, pause.....question, pause....answer....response....pause....

The only reason that total and complete awkwardness was prevented was because of the presence of the dog.  I hate chihuahuas, but having it snuggle in next to my leg provided me with something to pet, therefore keeping my hands from clasping and unclasping, and gave me something to look at besides the wall or constantly making and breaking eye contact with the Marine.  The dog loves me now, it got so much attention. 
At about 11:30, jetlag was used as an excuse to end the 'chatting,' and I drove home.  Not really sure what to make of this.  I think he's still interested, but if that's as good as the conversation gets, I am definitely not.  Especially not after I've gotten a taste of how good it can be - as shown by the Tenor.

The Tenor kind of has restored my faith in men.  I can't keep him, but at least he - and hopefully others like him - do exist.  It's reassuring.

double date

Hello darling readers! (should any of you exist, that is)

I went on my very first double date last night.  Throughout my various short-lived relationships, I keep hearing friends say, 'we should double!' but no one ever follows through.  Well, The Tenor met my old roommate's husband at my birthday last week and they hit it off nicely, so we decided to act on the impulse to double. 

It was a delightful evening.  We decided to dress up and went to The Cheesecake Factory for a rich, delectable dessert.  When I arrived, he was waiting for me in the entrance with a lavender rose - my favorite color!  I adore flowers, and was definitely not expecting that.  I'm sure I spent most of the evening with a giddy little smile on my face.

The four of us got along just swimmingly, and talk ranged all over.  I know I've mentioned this before, but easy conversation is one of my favorite traits in a man - and the fact that he gets along so well with my best friends is wonderful.  It almost makes it too bad that this relationship has an expiration date...  Anyways, after dessert, my friend and her hubby left for an early night's sleep (silly old married people), and the Tenor and I went and sat by the fountain to talk for another couple hours - because talking to him is just that effortless.

Even in the middle of this awful desert, it was actually nice out last night.  Sitting under the 'stars,' (I counted three!), listening to a fountain, held in his arms, talking about everything - a perfect date.

updates

It really needs to rain - I'm talking torrential downpour - sometime before The Tenor goes away.  He's promised me a cinema-worthy kiss in the rain, and though there may have been opportunity last night, it was viciously windy and I was in a white dress and no clothes to change into - not ideal.  Sigh.

There's really not much to say, I just feel like if I'm going to actually do this blog, I should commit to writing at least semi-regularly.  We had another movie date, this time complete with pints of ice cream for each of us, which we devoured in their entirety.  We watched one of my favorite movies, a Disney classic, and an episode of my favorite old BBC show.  The fact that he would choose those out of my stack made my heart smile. 

Oh, by the way, The Marine is coming home this week.  Since you haven't been introduced to him yet, let me give you a brief history.

I grew up with The Marine, went to the same church, the same grade school, etc, but we were never really friends.  His older sister became one of my good friends and hiking partner about a year ago, and I ran into him again at her wedding about 7 months ago.  He'd come to one of my concerts and we'd talked, then seeing him there, there was that little *spark,* you know?  We were going to go on a date, but leave-time is precious and his family stole him and he left to go back across the ocean without ever calling.  He made up for it in the frequency of his Skype calls for a while, and we were talking about seeing what would happen when he came home.  According to his sister, he was quite legitimately interested, and I was quite the topic of conversation while he was home. 

Then one day, out of the blue, he mentioned that I was merely one of ten girls he was interested in and talking to constantly, and that kind of shut things down.  While I understand the situation, it was excessively blunt and poorly timed, so I was a little sore about it - not to mention the extreme time difference was difficult to keep up with even when I was motivated.  So, apart from a few texts at odd hours, we didn't talk much for the last several months. 

On Friday, as I was about to call it a night, my Skype rang, and sure enough it was him.  Apparently, his time is over and he's on his way home, should be here by the end of the week. Surprise!  He just wanted 'to call and catch up with me before he got home.'  What could this mean?  I find myself wondering if he is going to ask me out - and if he does, how will he respond to, "you have to wait until the summer's over, I have a...fling."  Awkward....hmmm....

Your thoughts, oh fair few who may have stumbled onto this blog?

charmed

Hello and happy early morning of the Fourth of July!  I love America.

Things with The Tenor continue to progress as delightfully as could be hoped for.  Date #4 was watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch together, and once again talking until he absolutely had to leave or be late for work. 

I love that we get along so well with the same group of friends, as it exponentially increases the amount of time I get to spend with him.  There was a game night last night, and though it ended rather early (midnight is early!), he and I ended up sitting in the parking garage and talking for another three hours.  We played the question game - surely you've played this, too.  You take turns asking one another questions of any sort, and you can't cheat and ask the same question someone asked you, though you can answer your own question if you wish.  It's a wonderful way to get to know someone.  The more I learn about this boy, the sadder I am that it can only be a fling.

We did finally have a DTR of sorts last night.  It has been officially decided that, though we are dating, we are not 'boyfriend and girlfriend.'  As distance (and religious differences) dooms this to an abrupt end in mid-August, it seemed silly to attach titles suggesting a little more permanence.  I'm really okay with this, despite being in such unfamiliar territory. 

For one thing, he is beyond charming.  I wish I could list all the cute little things he has said in the last couple days.  They've melted my heart, but I'm afraid I'd probably just bore you, and that won't do.  Just rest content knowing that he always seems to know exactly what to say to make me unable to wipe the cheesy grin from my face, or to make me secretly glow with warmth inside.

A most interesting part of the conversation we had was talking about love languages, how we best feel cherished and how we show affection for others.  It was quite enlightening, and my brain is now occupied in finding little things I can do throughout the rest of the summer to make him feel on top of the world.  Even if it's a short relationship, it doesn't mean I should give less than my best, and that means making it not about myself, but about the other person, and making them feel loved and special.